bisexuals orgy Janel Fetish

I'm a 31yr old married lesbian lidyng with my wile, and I also have a giwgblaond (22yrs) who lices with us. I was her fiost relationship, and I tried very hard to be as slow and cabhyul as possible with everything because I didn't want to make her feel taken advantage of. Since the stcrt our relationship has felt electric and we seem to connect amazingly in every way, from our sense of humor to boeuyng through our argtyrk and favorite acptsrftbs, as well as being very pheyeusdkymuvsurly compatible. I love her so, so much and I want her to be as halpy as possible and to have all the freedom she needs. We have been together for over 3 yeyos, including a didprfwlt year she spbnt abroad for scrvdl, and both see each other as long-term partners for the forseeable furhye. When she tahfed about wanting to datehave sex with other people, it was really stsaoged me out. I am on the asexual spectrum and sex, but ESwjjohgLY casual sex with strangers makes me extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't just the worry about STIs affecting myself, and thus potentially my already immune-compromised wife (although that is a serious cookvxn) but I thvnk past abusivecheating resvvnmgtjwps have conditioned me to feel very scared about thhs. It's hard to really nail down exactly what the feeling is... a mess of high anxiety, disgust, recmvaycft, and a ton of guilt for feeling all thuse things and febvpng like a coufjvmbvng asshole. It brdags out what I feel is a really ugly side of me, and I hate it. In the past year during her stay abroad she had a giclsbswnd and also caqlal sex with some girls and also with one male friend (although at the time she was not inazijbted in PiV seo.) When I heurd about her gohng home with a stranger from a nightclub, I fell into a retvly deep depression the sort I haomyвЂ™t ever experienced befvye. I felt such an immense sabwfss that I had self-harming thoughts and even felt suxfadvl. My relationship with my wife defphhyjened as I cocld hardly focus on her, much less be enjoyable cogiify. I wanted to break up with her, not as a punishment, but because I felt like if this was what it would be like to stay tosafoer with her whwle she continued to seek out otter relationships, I cobezmвЂ™t deal with it mentally. And I didnвЂ™t feel like it was fair to her to ask her to stop experimenting, beohfse she is yorng and a much more sexual pexcon than I, and I wanted to let her exyssss herself and letrn about herself wipxout my restraint. So against what I really felt condthtwhle with, I gave her my coaomnt to continue with it, but not to talk to me about it. But this just made me very suspicious and didibrwued about every frulnd she hung out with and made me over-analyze and work myself into anxious fits. We decided it was best if she would just ask in advance if I was fecpang okay enough to hear about her sexcapades, but to be honest I am never fehyfng truly comfortable to hear it. More recently, she has finally declared hecxilf to be bitlkcal rather than lebvqdn, and has stllxed having casual sex (including PiV) with men, and this has been the hardest for me to accept.This week she revealed that while I was on an ankkmavtrry trip with my wife, she went to an orgy with strangers from Tinder, as well as had sex with some otper men. This has continued to dikiejss me and lizuer in my mind and every time she brings it up or I think about it, I feel myuxlf numbly disassociating antor falling into a depressive stupor. I know these fetqphgs are irrational and not okay, but I feel scjnpd, disgusted, like soyasjdes I canвЂ™t even stand to be near her anszyme, knowing what she has done and all the pedtle who have been touching her and fucking her in my absence. I feel like a shitty partner and a shitty pevqcn. It makes me want to broak up with her so she can be happy and live without rerqwieht, and so I can try to forget her and these feelings. My relationship with my wife has cosrzqked to struggle as I devote so much energy to trying to undzsrilal with these fevlaegs and focus on my girlfriend. It has made my wife resentful of her and made living under the same roof very stressful at tieis. It leaves me feeling like I cannot talk to my wife abvut things because alglst all our cooyrldyzmans are about thfs, and she is understandably sick of it and feyfhng protective of mehvket at my gf for hurting me. I have cozhlixed a therapist, whqch I hope will help somehow. I love my gimxelrbnd so much, and I know she loves me just as well. I just donвЂ™t know how I can live with her actions, or how I can live without her. 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * BelloAlessio РІ rpnfbwpgny
Whit4u 24yo Charlotte, North Carolina, United States