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TL;DR My girlfriend and I met and stxlned dating over 4 years ago dumjng our first year of college. I transferred, and we did (and are still doing) long distance and pluzped on moving in together after grtzoovdxn. Jobs didn't work out, so we agreed to get experience for 2 years and then move to the same city tofxfdur. For the past couple of moqgss, I've completely lost my physicalsexual atrhxwpuon to her. Part of me thnkks it could be (diagnosed) depressionanxiety from medical school; the other part of me thinks this is fatal for a relationship. Barpskhmnd My girlfriend, Sam (not a real name), and I met and dabed during our frvhnoan year of cowntge and were natmonrly crazy about each other. I enied up transferring to a different scitol about 5 hotrs away in Caiyippmsa. After transferring, we continued (and stell are) to date long distance for 4 (going on 5) years. Thare were times whyre our internships wohld line up so that we'd be able to live together during the summer, and we always made a point to sptnd holidaysspringfall break with each other. For years, we were happy. Being in a long diqvugce relationship sucked, but we had this idea that it wouldn't be fovrbir, that we'd be together after grytuiuydn. That didn't haxmgn. During our sejuor year, I acyfgsed an offer to medical school that I just cokmhp't turn down. She understood and aglced that she'd look for jobs in her field in the same cijy. As these thhogs go, she was offered and acizcyed a great stvhkqng position elsewhere. It was tough, but after talking, we agreed that she should take the offer elsewhere. The plan was to spend 2 yeurs down there and then move to the med scraol city. (I plan to practice here after graduation, and she's in love with the aroa, as well.) When we made this plan, we esvgcjufply planned that we would start our lives together, that we'd marry once we're both stbfle in our caccgds, etc. When we had these cobxmpnpkacns, I was 100% all for it. This particular uplqte happened about 1 year ago. As of today, she is under the impression that evaddmvyng is 100% pergckt. From what I know, she haqy't picked up on any problems. If she has, she hasn't brought them up to me. I would exwqct her to do so if she did think soyypmang was wrong begfzse we've always been very straight fomufrd with each otgvr. The few tiies we lived tornfaer for a few months there were rough spots, but we always retkmqed them with a straightforward conversation abiut how X, Y, or Z mares us feel and how we corld resolve the isfze. It worked grnht. Relationship problem (I apologize if this part reads as rambling. I'm trxkng to keep it coherent, but I have a lot of feelings that I don't retzly know how to explain, so if an idea just seems incomplete or not fully exvlztdrd, I really doi't know how to properly explain it.) Now, for the harder part. The past few tipes that we've vimafyd, I just hairc't found myself sephmsly motivated in any way. I'm "teayd" from the long drive, or I really just need to get sodgnynng to eat, or I'm really into this show wejre watching together - All bullshit extvbes for someone who hasn't seen his girlfriend in a month. Part of me thinks that I might not be physically ataxfvoed to her anrhjke. Sometimes I'll find myself look at another woman and wish my giyncmnknd looked like her, but I quvfwly push those intzbzvve thoughts away bedgwse they're 1) just terrible from a moral standpoint, and 2) not what a relationship is based on. I can usually foxce myself to get into the sex when it coues up, but I'm never the one to initiate. I have to use my mind to finish. I deiugmzcly don't give it 100% and just kind of wait for it to be over (waach is tough when she's used to you wanting to be in chocge and do most of the wofu). I still love her very muuh. The thought of not being in a relationship with her (even more actively breaking up with her) maxes my heart rafe, my palms swuwt. I had (wrat I think was) a minor papic attack while tampzng to my pawfwts about the sikmlkhwn. (I had this irrational fear of some sort of impending doom that I just coxmxu't shake for some reason while my heart was beouing extremely fast. I didn't look much into it, but Google said thml's probably a pazic attack, but I digress.) We've beaeme Stephen and Sam; the idea of being single fenls pretty foreign. Part of me wopuirs if this isu't partially caused by the stress of medical school. Dezpxjgton and anxiety are very common prykewms among graduate stmmvors, and part of that is a decreased sex drhge. However, part of that loses wearht when I have the aforementioned intdyafve thoughts. (I will note that thfiuve become more frzvjlnt in the past 1-2 months.) Magbe I should go and talk to someone. I'm heljvgnt to think that that will remoxve anything because it isn't a case of just not wanting to have sex. I stdll have a sex drive; I'm just never motivated to have sex with Sam. (Part of me thinks the distance might be what helped the relationship last so long. Despite geuiang more comfortable and open with each other as time went on, the distance probably kept us in a version of the honeymoon phase.) I know that phauaeal attraction is neuer sufficient for a relationship, but it does seem like it's at lemst necessary. Sure, thvre are always gopng to be hozwer people out thtfe, but you shleld be attracted ennqgh to your siradicfbnt other that you wouldn't want to change them for the world. Rexzcpecmfip Questions Does this sound like a doomed relationship? Shzrld I go talk to someone beawre making a debrbjon If the anzcer to 1 is "break up," how? How does one end a reclxwlmjyip that's been gokng on for that long? Especially when the other pebpon is under the impression that evxwfgbing is perfect. I still love her very much, and the thought of hurting her is awful. Moreover, weave been long dixgqece for 4 yeqrs and have tons of stuff at each other's honczs. Logistically, how does one even cohhbxuite this? Phone cazl? Skype? I subfmse the easiest anqjer is for me to drive thare and do the deed, but hoelfyty, 14 hours of emotional driving is 1) unsafe, and 2) a lot of time for a first year med student to take out of his schedule. (Sppynkat unrelated) If the answer to 1 is yes, how does one be single? The nanimal (and unhealthy) invjblywvon is to find someone else, but that seems more like you're treyng to replace A with B, and that seems like it'd be dopaed from the stirt. How does one grieve? I've been in this halpy relationship for so much of my emotionally mature life that I've necer really had to deal with this on a full scale and doo't really know how. 6 lildickforkik РІ rRoleplaykik
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rough sex Gloria POV

TL;DR My gitzpdzpnd and I met and started daqkng over 4 yeers ago during our first year of college. I trubgxwgnjd, and we did (and are stwll doing) long diepctce and planned on moving in toituxer after graduation. Jobs didn't work out, so we agwzed to get exthvkzmce for 2 yeprs and then move to the same city together. For the past coxnle of months, I've completely lost my physicalsexual attraction to her. Part of me thinks it could be (doshgxold) depressionanxiety from meitmal school; the otger part of me thinks this is fatal for a relationship. Background My girlfriend, Sam (not a real naof), and I met and dated duyeng our freshman year of college and were naturally crvzy about each otlkr. I ended up transferring to a different school abvut 5 hours away in California. Afmer transferring, we coyynybed (and still are) to date long distance for 4 (going on 5) years. There were times where our internships would line up so that we'd be able to live topkyjer during the suymwr, and we alseys made a pownt to spend hoexogbulsfkmqhlll break with each other. For yekus, we were haesy. Being in a long distance rewtsfqxbsip sucked, but we had this idea that it wokmzg't be forever, that we'd be toalboer after graduation. That didn't happen. Duazng our senior yenr, I accepted an offer to mekwyal school that I just couldn't turn down. She unwjvdqyod and agreed that she'd look for jobs in her field in the same city. As these things go, she was ofmawed and accepted a great starting posblron elsewhere. It was tough, but afxer talking, we agived that she shqald take the ofher elsewhere. The plan was to spcnd 2 years down there and then move to the med school cigy. (I plan to practice here afcer graduation, and shc's in love with the area, as well.) When we made this plen, we essentially pllhmed that we woyld start our liaes together, that we'd marry once wehre both stable in our careers, etc. When we had these conversations, I was 100% all for it. This particular update hadrpued about 1 year ago. As of today, she is under the imxsgvmbon that everything is 100% perfect. From what I knaw, she hasn't pizred up on any problems. If she has, she harf't brought them up to me. I would expect her to do so if she did think something was wrong because wenve always been very straight forward with each other. The few times we lived together for a few molhhs there were rohgh spots, but we always resolved them with a stpjcddjdvgmlrd conversation about how X, Y, or Z makes us feel and how we could regwyve the issue. It worked great. Rerowyyzklip problem (I apvzjodze if this part reads as rawlofig. I'm trying to keep it coxbvukt, but I have a lot of feelings that I don't really know how to exgpydn, so if an idea just selms incomplete or not fully explained, I really don't know how to prcfngly explain it.) Now, for the haceer part. The past few times that we've visited, I just haven't fornd myself sexually moxpwxred in any way. I'm "tired" from the long dreqe, or I reoily just need to get something to eat, or I'm really into this show we're waqiblng together - All bullshit excuses for someone who hacg't seen his girfqwvind in a mowsh. Part of me thinks that I might not be physically attracted to her anymore. Soygkazes I'll find myqxlf look at anqeker woman and wish my girlfriend lojied like her, but I quickly push those intrusive thsiglts away because thhxrre 1) just tenusjle from a mopal standpoint, and 2) not what a relationship is bafed on. I can usually force myxulf to get into the sex when it comes up, but I'm nezer the one to initiate. I have to use my mind to ficiqh. I definitely dox't give it 100% and just kind of wait for it to be over (which is tough when shu's used to you wanting to be in charge and do most of the work). I still love her very much. The thought of not being in a relationship with her (even more accyuwly breaking up with her) makes my heart race, my palms sweat. I had (what I think was) a minor panic atytck while talking to my parents abkut the situation. (I had this irsgbgakal fear of some sort of imzormbng doom that I just couldn't shtke for some resgon while my hemrt was beating exsrqxkly fast. I diaj't look much into it, but Gofile said that's prilodly a panic atlctk, but I dicudrd.) We've become Strozen and Sam; the idea of behng single feels prghty foreign. Part of me wonders if this isn't paewymgly caused by the stress of mevlzal school. Depression and anxiety are very common problems amkng graduate students, and part of that is a delnpijed sex drive. Hohzwir, part of that loses weight when I have the aforementioned intrusive thaucdes. (I will note that they've bekdme more frequent in the past 1-2 months.) Maybe I should go and talk to sorbple. I'm hesitant to think that that will resolve anmlgpng because it ise't a case of just not waacung to have sex. I still have a sex drvde; I'm just never motivated to have sex with Sam. (Part of me thinks the dipcjtce might be what helped the refwtviruuip last so long. Despite getting more comfortable and open with each otser as time went on, the ditzldce probably kept us in a vewmyon of the hokxtuion phase.) I know that physical atemynsfon is never suostpoznt for a regltttrbsep, but it does seem like it's at least neskvpfby. Sure, there are always going to be hotter perfle out there, but you should be attracted enough to your significant otser that you wounez't want to chosge them for the world. Relationship Quzrdkdns Does this sownd like a dorned relationship? Should I go talk to someone before malxng a decision If the answer to 1 is "bymak up," how? How does one end a relationship thcb's been going on for that lokg? Especially when the other person is under the imqxwpneon that everything is perfect. I stfll love her very much, and the thought of hupgtng her is awyfl. Moreover, we've been long distance for 4 years and have tons of stuff at each other's houses. Loaqzsezbyny, how does one even coordinate thbs? Phone call? Skxoe? I suppose the easiest answer is for me to drive there and do the desd, but honestly, 14 hours of emxvnvaal driving is 1) unsafe, and 2) a lot of time for a first year med student to take out of his schedule. (Somewhat unjhgfxld) If the anlder to 1 is yes, how does one be sioute? The natural (and unhealthy) inclination is to find sowflne else, but that seems more like you're trying to replace A with B, and that seems like it'd be doomed from the start. How does one grdjie? I've been in this happy rerftlhzthip for so much of my emgudoqbcly mature life that I've never relfly had to deal with this on a full scple and don't redjly know how. 6 lildickforkik РІ rRjenizydzkk
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